I told myself I'd start a proper insomnia diary should I have another bad night again.
(Who'd want to read a journal of someone who can't sleep?)
Anyway, it's created to make myself feel engaged and occupied should another sleepless night bother me again. Like right now. And perhaps to keep a proper record should it were to be needed, say someone needs to know what goes on in the mind of a person who can't sleep!
I hope it won't be depressing.
What's scary about staying awake at night's that the time ticks a lot faster. Before you knew it, an hour has past with you tossing about in bed. As for why I can't sleep tonight, if I had a reason I think it's just that the bout of sleepless nights the past week has taken a life of its own. I have associated bed time to be a negative experience of tossing about on bed that it triggers my body to feel "dangered" when I actually try to sleep. Sleep has become a performance task which won't occur should I continue to think that way. Even if I try not to. I'm trapped in an "ironic process theory" - the "don't think of the pink elephant" in the room problem that I'm can't get out of. So how can I truly not think of the pink elephant?
It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy should I even question in my sub-conscious, whether I'd be able to sleep tonight. The fact that I questioned and even pondered the chances of falling asleep seem to be the problem. Questioning and my bad experience with sleep makes me measure my sleep and be on the look out whether it's happening. That keeps me awake.
So how can I trick my sub conscious mind and overcome that? I really want to know.
By thought suppression? I tried to force myself to repeat the count of 1-10.
It doesn't work.
By accepting my fears? Sometimes it works, sometimes it takes a really long time to come to an acceptance of my sleeping fears. So how do I quickly accept what I'm afraid of and move on?
